If you're in the job market right now you might want to familiarize yourself with the Human Resources Lingo...
"COMPETITIVE SALARY" = We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" = We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" = We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED" = You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" = Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY" = Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" = We have no quality control.
"APPLY IN PERSON" = If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" = We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" = You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" = You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" = You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS" = Management speaks, you listen, figure out what they want, and do it.
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